Stive to understand your and other people’s
perceptions if you wish to learn how to control your state of mind and
enhance your communication.
Perceptual Positions Defined
of any experience depends on the position from where you perceive it.
Taking different perceptual positions enables
you to step out of what you are currently experiencing and gather new
information by seeing things from a different perspective. You can also
check out how your own words and behavior may be impacting on other people,
and how they may be feeling about you and your actions. This new knowledge
will help you make the necessary changes in your behavior and thus achieve
Problem Solving: Reframing
The Four Perceptual
Neuro-linguistic perceptual position
“Self” is a total self-reference, and operates from the self or from ones
own eyes. Explore what you think about the relationship. Label both your own
and the other person's behavior. Change the state – shake off all bad
The second perceptual position “Other” enhances your ability to empathize.
It gives you the ability to see another person’s logic especially when you
are in an argument. You can also get some insight into your behavioral
characteristics, and what someone else thinks about you. It is also an
important model for strengthening rapport. Explore the relationship from the
other person's point of view. Imagine how they experience your behavior.
What sort of label would they put on it? How do they feel? Shake off that
emotional state before continuing.
The third Neuro-linguistic perceptual position
“Observer” is a complete
dissociation from the entire conversation or experience. Go outside the
relationship, become a detached observer – imagine a stage and see both of
you on stage. See that other person doing what they do, and see yourself
responding to them.
Shift your question from 'How can I change that person's behavior?' to 'How
am I reinforcing or triggering that person's behavior?' Explore how else you
could respond to him or her.
The fourth perceptual position, defined as a
“We”, is the viewpoint from the
perspective of the system as a whole. In order to take the fourth perceptual
position, step aside and take on the perspective of the whole arrangement by
considering the best interest of the unit as a single entity. Associate
yourself with the whole system. Here your aim is to contribute to this
single unit, by considering “our” common goals.